Mahatma comes with a tube

In a crowded hall of the Polytechnic lacked only ozonator, as if in an aquarium, which was teeming with exotic fish. For the highest windows, for some reason or tightly closed, bright June sun was shining. From the corridor drawn freshest alkyd paint and something else than singed. And in unventilated room was stuffy, which does not meet the solemn event, what the poster reads bright entrance.
Listeners were divided into two camps reverse, but without some of the flank positions all turned stupid confusion of tongues and the usual mess. Idiocy and subservience overlap with Despise irony and frank izymatelstvom. Lektorsha did not give up, but it was evident that this small loudspeaker old lady is about to come out of himself.
Someone stood up to his full height and with a sarcastic tone in his voice asked:
— Why Mahatma Stalin smoked?
For a few seconds she cringed like a spring. Ran sparkling eyes on the oscillation of the rows and yelled:
— And you know that Mahatma comes with a tube ?!
Previously her speech was measured, even festive, performed inspirational significance. It seemed that she felt a chosen one, awarded to seep into the mystery, find out the most treasured and tell others about it, but at least open that should know the profane. From the pulpit on the heads of the uninitiated, the light shone majestically Teaching.
After a concise exposition rather muddled, if not chaotic, the introduction of a fundamental base she immediately ran across to the dilemma of the origin of species, and in the forthcoming focused only on this: with the deepest incursion into the very essence of the subject, savoring the individual parts and explaining the slow-witted «such ordinary things.» Refrain heard the word «science has confirmed that …» and «the result of the latest research was …».
Assistant, bald and middle-aged people, too, showed some yellow bone, very similar to the true, what in large numbers scattered on the margins of at least some livestock farms or slaughterhouses.
On the boards and right on the walls hung amateur lurid pictures, tables and charts. And one way or another have been illustrated all the stages of development of the world’s population — from the Cro-Magnon, or Atlanteans as the first immigrants from distant planets to future supermen era already intelligent. Transitional stage between them represented the modern man, Homo sapiens adopted, which was depicted inside the zodiacal circle, very similar to the terms of the rescue.
Results of the «latest scientific discoveries» symbolized the greater the line. But the strongest memory produced a clear map of the famous Atlantis.
Citizens perfect city-state — the Cro-Magnons, «pervolyudi» messenger of our galaxy — at the peak of flowering own civilization have gained such moral decline that off to the winds, and specifically, in an unprecedented and of unprecedented bestiality, copulating with the native fauna. What explains more precisely, scientifically proved not only the origin of the monkeys as such, but an unusual abundance of motley simian tribe in general.
Next rise of erotic poetry led to a relationship with already similar, anthropoid creatures resulting steel and racial stratification, social inequality and the excesses of the other.
The name of Charles Darwin was not uttered, but it was clear on what items dealt a crushing blow. Spiral of evolution was speeded to the downside.
So passed commemorative readings in stately Moms — founder of the queen and esoteric knowledge.
The room was relatively quiet, while it was not influenced by the Fathers. About the leaders and despots of new and ancient history spoken of as the conductors of the Supreme Will of the Universal Mind. It was they who were the epitome of the Universal Spirit, or Mahatmas, purpose of which is to teach, to educate the whole rabble, inherited them as a material, and how to do with all this stuff, what they inspire the Higher Will. With all this lektorsha not forgotten read about love, but about a special love, alluding to the fact that in its common usage, disgusting ordinary Homo sapiens such love can not understand, and therefore in need of care and the care of a loving father, in other words the Mahatma, or teacher.
Went 3rd year of restructuring, or, as the lektorsha, stately Changes, during which revealed the true face of each, there will be self-destruction of individuals with domination monkey blood, which will ensure the dominance of individuals with blood dominance of Atlantis, and then shall appear the world last majestic Mahatma.

The end of this novel, I, unfortunately, did not hear. In the hall of the uproar. Some argued together, others shouted their questions as feverish demonstrators in the column:
— A tube which Mahatma Stalin ?!
— On pleshiny extort ?!
— Mahatma Lenin did not smoke! And Chairman Mao too!
— And Hitler ?! Never smoked!
— Hitler, Mahatma, fool! In another he had not lost the war Mahatma Stalin!
— Churchill — Mahatma! But … he was smoking a cigar, and not up!
— Churchill, too, not the Mahatma! He is an ordinary medium, Assistant Mahatma Stalin!
— You Th ?! Completely morons! Redskins, not counting tubes, nothing smoked! Th, all Mahatma yes ?!
— Redskins monkeys! Have seen the real Mahatma in Atlantis, where they drove to work …
— But as smoking is very harmful! Why Mahatma tube ?!
— Yoga in India do not smoke!
— Yogi lot, but the real Mahatma once in 100 years is born!
— A smoking something to him for what ?! Malicious same! He was — and other smoking teaches ?!
— I do not understand why Mahatma smoking?

At some time lektorsha still reeling from the flash light and hysteria continued.
— Attention! In the first-mo-nites …
The room was slightly quieter, but she suddenly screamed louder than before:
— Do you realize that their tubes are not ordinary ?! Their ozone tube! It’s you poison yourself with nicotine! When Mahatma smokes, he inhales ozone! Mahatma tube converts tobacco smoke on zones !!! This makeup! Mahatma ozone need not even oxygen, namely ozone. In the atmosphere of ozone Galaxy! Do not you realize ?! In our earthly air they lack the ozone!
The response was instant.
— At the stars or a planet atmosphere ozone ?!
— Either Galaxy atmosphere ?!
— The galaxy is in the ozone gas cloud! Morons …
— And Mahatma sits on a cloud!
— With a tube …

Lektorsha turned away bald assistant. Some reddish student jumped on stage and completely out of place too, began to express bad words in the address majestically Moms:
— And you know that she …
Any balance was lost, well, patience is exhausted too. I got up and headed for the exit. With a portrait that hung high above the door, gently smiling Mahatma Lenin.

Half black corridor I got to the stairs, ran down and just breathed on the sunny street.
At the intersection inadvertently braked and with a minute looking toward the Polytechnic, as if wondering: Is really all that I saw and heard, occurred in the walls of the school? In his eyes darted colorful billboard at the entrance, then tightly closed highest window, and as if he heard the voice of lektorshi: «For the third year majestically Change! Everything is just beginning … «
Curiously, it’s me what blood predominates: monkeys or Atlanteans? Thought about it and shuddered involuntarily, suddenly realizing what I still think is already turned and walked without looking back. Soon found himself in a crowded, very busy street. Weight pressed in from all sides, and I was looking for a free place where you can quietly enjoy a smoke. At the window I saw a huge book store tray and braked nevdali from him. Yes, and there is not time to get a cigarette in front of me there was a boy and a cheerful aggressiveness suggested:
— Buy the book! For a nominal value of give. The last remaining … You will not regret!
This book was the most stately Mom: «Paradigm Enlightened Consciousness.» And as I took her into the hands of experienced and easy excitement, and some cherished desire, and yet something unconscious and decided that I really need this book! For something looked at it from all sides and gave the stranger means. Not counting, and even though he quickly hid money in the pocket.
— Here slavnenko! Let’s smoke …
I opened the pack, but it was empty. Meanwhile, as my casual interlocutor already lit his pipe. I looked at him questioningly. The young man took a few puffs of the deepest and, smiling, handed me the phone.
— Take it! This is my … a present to you. Smoke! Well, I ran … The time has come!
«It’s time! horn trumpet; Psari in hunting bells … «- at the level of thoughts I quoted sparingly inhaled tobacco smoke.
After the third tightening over the city grew dazzling snow-white tip of Kanchenjunga. At her beautiful woman rose and spoke voice lektorshi:
— 3rd year in a stately Change! Everything is just beginning …
Took out the silver and gold hammer chisel and began to cut through the celestial sphere in the fragile ozone hole.
The slope slowly ascended assistant in the form of a handsome youth and dragged longish string of yellow bone, very similar to those found in large numbers scattered around at least some livestock farms or slaughterhouses. Closer to the top of the bone overgrown flesh that covered the sparkling pearl scales. And in that moment, when the Winged Dragon opened his mouth wide, from the window of the trolley looked reddish student and yelled bad words in the address majestically Moms, but here reincarnated in white raven, soared on the horn and sang an aria from the opera Tatiana’s «Eugene Onegin.»
More after a few puffs, I saw that lektorsha as charming girls broke through in the celestial sphere fragile ozone hole and put her in her her head.
Assistant, embodied in a beautiful young man brushing his teeth Winged Dragon.
Niskolechko not surprised by what he saw, I continued to smoke a pipe. Blue smoke was rising into the sky and was transformed into a white cloud wing.
Beautiful woman lektorsha already on most buttocks climbed in the ozone hole. From the mouth of the dragon as a toothpick legs stuck out a handsome youth-assistant. Snow White Crow mature song to the end and flew build a nest. On the brick wall of an ancient building brighter and clearly exude a mysterious name, the mysterious lady, «Elena Khristoforovna.»
I made one last drag, before the tube on the bald patches wring some scoundrel, helpfully substitutes the head, once again stared at the top of Kanchenjunga. It was empty, and only the pure white snow dazzling large crystal faces playing in the sun. A few moments later disappeared and Kanchenjunga.

I think I came to my senses. Crowded street lived a private life vain. Everything flowed, which should flow, and it was all because it was meant to be.
As light and perfectly round! How many smiles and joy on the faces of passers-by! Still, it’s very said, «Life has become better, life has become merrier!» And I’m not a crazy crazy to believe just anyone … thoughts and went hard step, as a man, confident in the correctness of the chosen path, but suddenly saw that hand still keep smoked and excellent vykolochennuyu up. «Well, you need the same! ..» — Smiled to myself and hid the smoking device in the breast pocket uniform jacket, which was sitting on me as a brand. Feet in the calf boots just minted step.

In the building with the highest windows I passed a black stroke and carpeted stairs upstairs. The well-lit room was so fresh, as if in an aquarium with exotic fish have forgotten to turn off the ozonator.
Prior to appear before the hall, a couple of minutes I stood and listened.
— Well, well … They are already divided into two camps inverse. Here slavnenko …
Last majestic Mahatma smoothed black mustache and took to the stage, greeted by thunderous applause.

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