Today I had a long conversation with an old school friend. She asked me for advice. She lived in “before.” What is “before”?
Last year 75th birthday. I was barbecue and took off my clothes. Little “Glock” was asked: what is it? To her mother’s dismay, I replied:
She smiled – she said: “In our world there are no guys.”
I also smiled and said: that’s right. In yours – no. In my – there is.
We all remember “before.” There were days when all is well. Dad and mom did everything right. There was food, and there was shelter. We were safe.
My “before” ended when I was seven years old. I was in the middle of the night of the secret police. I’m in the middle of the street.
Most of the kids live in “before” somewhere up to thirty years.
Some stay in “before” forever.
My “after” looks like this.
I know who is sitting in a restaurant when I order drinks. I have already inspected the premises. If you’re on the outside, you’ll be able to get out.
Talking to strangers, I appreciate them. Height, weight, physical form, the presence of weapons. I’m sitting on my wall … or to the exit.
I’m not sure where to go. I do not come. I keep the assault rifle by the bed. I train the body every day, waiting for the fight. I do all this routinely, almost without thinking. It has become part of my nature. I saw death and got used to it. Ready to take it …
I do not brag. Ask those who know me.
My family knows what I love. How much does it depend on me. I am no longer a professional “combatant”, but I still live as if I still am.
I have not lived in “before” for many years.
We remember the days “before.” And the day we received the information. Whether it is a policeman or an army confrontation with evil. All the preceding remained in the “before.”
Before we had seen evil; before we saw violence; before we decided. Ordinary people of ordinary people. Prohibitions It’s clear that it’s clear what it’s about.
I have made a transition. Everything has become a reality. I’m ready for battle. He lived in the “before” … but being a cop in San Bernardino, he can no longer afford it.
What about you? Do you still live in “before”? Or moved to reality, no matter how much it may be?
By: Gabe Suarez
Translation – Anton Farb
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