This humorous sketch was born in the course of backstage disputes and fights, on the subject of “where do you get it from if you take a fuck?”
Remembering the words of one wise man – the place of domestic PP “In the very female primary sexual sign that” P “begins and” E “ends (well, yes, in” Sign “).
In tradition Russian army, when asked to give something quick and small, usually the applicant is issued either APS (if they love and appreciate, and are ready to tear them from the heart), or Aksu (if you do not want to offend), or something quite precious like 9A-91 (although with a face like “you lose it – hang it right away”). It is clear that from all of the above, under the concept submachine gun, with a stretch only gets APS (not nuacho !? you can also stretch the globe on the globe). True, competently managed with this stupid few already know how.
But the PP in the classical sense – we really don’t have in the army. In Russia, for some reason, the opinion has strengthened that PP is purely police weapon. In principle, after the regular stories of the 90s, when an employee shot from Aksu into the criminal, and together with him he was laying on cold asphalt, a completely foreign hostess, a basket, a picture, a piece of cardboard and a little dog – they were not at all rare a phenomenon.
However, if you remember the level rifle training our valiant policemen, then giving them a weapon with such a range and destructive power was generally a highly stupid decision. On the other hand, what else could they give in those years when the departure for domestic disassembly could turn into a queue 7.62 through the door, from the old, but very good AK-47? And this is not to mention the fact that armament valiant Russian gang favorably with the police. However, as time went on, finally the Ministry of Internal Affairs wiped out of its depths SOBRY and Riot police, who really knew how to use automatic weapons with minimal risk to themselves and others. And good old Aksu it has finally become possible to take away from the unfortunate PPSnikov, whom these same automatons betrayed to have bandits pistols not selected.
The situation is simple – the police took the guns away, but the fear remained. All the same, the policemen for the most part are Russian people who want everything to be simple. Not time after time to put pressure on the descent, but so that it would press once, and the opponent fell asleep with shallow, but weighty arguments.
And everything would be fine, because the demands of the police can be fulfilled for decades, in the end, not a bar, and they will survive this way. Suddenly Chechnya happened. Chechnya for armies in our country exactly happened. Like snow in winter, like a flood in the spring, that is, quite suddenly and unexpectedly.
About AKSU and the heavy legacy of the Soviet past
All previous concepts of the existence of the army, taken from the damned Soviet past, provided only for work in operational spaces. And where there is a lot of space, fuckiness is not needed. And in the end, the longer the barrel, the deeper it is able to penetrate the anus of the NATO aggressor, and the short barrel is unnecessary humanism and philanthropy, inapplicable to the enemy.
And who would have thought that sweep normal Grozny Khrushchev something different from victorious march on the Champs-Elysées or the cleansing from the capitalist contagion of some Hyde Park. As life has shown, is different. And very much. And this is where the questions from the military began.
The question was simple – do you have expensive designers, something powerful enough, compact and rate of fire?
According to pervosti, asking was already familiar Aksu, which was quite sudden (although this foul quality was known from Afghanistan), recalled that it is not just a small and proud machine gun, but also a scarlet flower generator. What is a scarlet flower? Everything is simple, shoot from Aksu in the classic application, and you will understand everything – the flash when shot is blinded by the arrow.
And successfully manages to do it in the afternoon. And if you need to shoot at night? And if the shooter is also in the NVD? After one shot, you can forget about shooting for 2-3 minutes at all, while you still blink … And in addition, three shooters with Aksu at night they could illuminate the position so that the fourth at that time could read the book quietly.
Moreover, these were the times when thoughts about what could be replaced by a DTC (Muzzle Brake-Compensator) did not even roam in their heads in Russia.
If there are intelligent and enlightened people in the hall who will give a hint about the magic and godly complex “Canary”, then I will ask you in reply:
– How much of that “Canary” was all that?
Cherished “birds” was not enough. So much so that even in the second campaign, the occasional glare of this charm led to long and tedious races from the afflicted and willing.
And users reached out with dirty hands to the designers. A designer looking at the affectionate and kind eyes of users suddenly realized that the barrel Aksu even though it is short, it does not penetrate deeply, but no one will shoot a fly, and therefore they are expected to be as unforgettable as they are painful.
Naturally, within the framework of the program “we will protect the high-tech anus from the encroachments of the dirty military”, they immediately tried to give out at least something, just to get rid of it.
Stillborn children of the gloomy Russian genius
The first attempt “to and fuck off” was “Cedar”. And here, then the constructors had a pichal and a break in the pattern. It turns out (from this turn) that weapon in which the police functions are incorporated, for the army it suits a little less than them. And the main ambush is ammunition. Which is used in PP “Cedar” from all of us known the gun PM That is, 9×18. And he, I will tell you and body armor The second class breaks from time to time. That is, the situation when a Wahhabi, in which a half-store from Kedr was laid, wheezing with bruised lungs and crunching cracked ribs, landed a couple of bullets in the back of the sharper arrow and began to become sad and constant.
The military again extended its dirty paws to the clean anus of the constructors, though the eyes were already not entirely good. The situation was aggravated by the fact that in the first campaign (well, at the beginning of the second one too) body armor the Russian soldier, was a luxury item. And the militants, stupid details of life. And in spite of the once popular cries about the fact that the PM does not break through the quilted jacket, the Borzi software was constructed by the valiant Armenian gunsmiths and spzhzhenzhi Chechen nuggets, firing the same PMVskimi cartridges, army vatnik stamped with a bang. This is only later, when body armor became a normal and regular element of the form, “Borz” practically disappeared from use, and in those days … Well, okay, the story is sad and sad.
Naturally attempts to protect their zhopki from painful breaks have become much more intense. Designers began to give birth much more often. Sometimes it turned out something sane type PP-19 Bison-1/2 in which the issue of low power ammunition decided to a radical increase in capacity the store. The screw could hold as many as 64 rounds, but it had a weighty flaw. Considering that the fighting was conducted not on the landfills and not comfortable conditions of the southern countries, but in the traditional for the motherland mother govshisch and mud, reliability the store and protection from these same govshisch and gryazisch, were below any criticism in general. And the process of equipment shop, without a special pribluda, he could plunge into the horror of a seasoned masochist, not to mention ordinary, normal people.
There was an attempt to adapt and the good old Aksu under the PM-ovsky patron. Project PP-19-01 Vityaz. It turned out funny but no more. Designers for some reason did not think that the machine gun was originally designed for a 30-cartridge score with automatic ammunition, a little lost in balancing and controllability when transferring it to pistol cartridges. Plus, in those years, the quality at IZhmash fell to such a level that the accuracy level of the software (even though the requirements for them were already quite low) fell to “somewhere there”, which did not suit the customer a little.
No, in the end, of course, the project was doped, and led to an acceptable look and content (which translates into 9 9 by Parabellum), but for some reason the CPS prudently bought with German variations on the HK MP5 theme, took a couple of dozen samples and said “no thanks”. So, the Vityaz eventually crawled along the structures of the Ministry of Internal Affairs, which were already pleased at least something. Well, against the background of the rest of pizdets, it looks quite decent, both in terms of performance characteristics and capabilities.
Another PP-2000 “bastard” (designed by Gryazev and Shipunov, after which people, by inertia, were suspicious of quite decent GSH-18), did not even save the Parabellum cartridge. Everything was fine there, ergonomics bordering on the design, plastic resembling toothbrushes, and the wonderful habit of shooting anywhere, except where needed. No, of course there were nuggets that could rein in this metal-plastic construction, but it required such expenses … Moreover, the quality was approximately at the level of the same plinth that the project did not take off and died safely, only occasionally emerging from non-existence and frightening people with its appearance.
What is the result?
The way out was eventually found not by gunsmiths, but by the cartridge manufacturers. Who finally remembered the melancholy howl of the Ministry of Internal Affairs “but can the same bullet but hit the forehead hurt more painfully?” And issued a cartridge 9×18 Ultra, which, of course, was far away from the parabellum, but it was already possible to get away from my younger brother and not to disgrace.
Then the situation got a little better 9×18 Ultra confidently stamped body armor third class 10 meters, holed standard army helmet, and in general began to show that the domestic pistol cartridge is suitable not only to shoot and equip a policeman, but it is also quite capable of participating in adult clashes. Besides, it did not require a radically new one. weapon, it was enough to modernize the old. And everything would be fine, what if …
The second Chechen has ended. During which all have become shit on submachine gun, everyone got used to spread the building with the enemy, outside. And visits to the premises have already been worked out so that a long barrel or short, it has become unimportant.
So it turned out that the culture of dealing with submachine gun we did not have time to work out. A period of serious necessity, which the designers bravely pissed away, the military prevailed on their own and with long trunks. BUT submachine gun actually remained a police toy, and the need for anti-terror units, which are already specially trained, and taught them not to save their homeland (in connection with which massively migrated to MP5PDW-SD6 / 7 for the envy of more authorized colleagues). And the idea submachine gun once again she was not able to master the masses of the country.
No, there are of course successful developments of the same type of CP-2 “Heather“, Yes, and all sorts of fun toys under a variety of special ammunition made. But so it would be massive, simple and understandable – we still do not have this. Crews armored vehicles, and the pilots of the helicopters / airplanes are still being completed with the good old ones Aksu, and prefer not to buzz.
From such a garbage.
That is, the answer to the question “does the Russian army need a PP” remained at the level “Do the Russians want war” …