Captain at fifteen. Humorous story series “Sharks of steel”

I had long been a lieutenant commander. He was the commander of the sixth compartment. When I was transferred, I’m still a lieutenant commander. Igor was called “fifteen-year captain”.

Igor knew his materiel and the designers didn’t know. For example, it has been necessary to make sure that it has been the case. Unconsciously and always. Found the valve in complete compartment No, well, no. It has been given that it has been he could be done. An effective technique is to recognize.

For all that he ruled him. He was very fond of ketchup. It was a box of ketchup. It is asked to ask you:

– If you get it, do you eat it too?

– Only if barbecue, – said Igor, – from Bulgarian I have heartburn lately.

It’s not a clear idea of ​​how much naval soul. He has always ignored the situation in the firewood. He played the rocketman and his flagship heading in hysterics:

– Igor! You need to get tested before going to sea !!!
“If I had to go through the test, then I played it, then I played it.”
– Igor, well, where are you a notebook?
– I do not know, lying somewhere in the cabin. Well, where are you the queen of yours? Well, are you a moron? It will be more there !!!

The flagship of the cabin, rummaged in his documents, indignantly:

– Igor, well, she’s last year’s from you !! Well, it was difficult to fix the date?
– Do not p … and,
“It was me who filled it last year,” the midshipman grumbles, muslim queen’s fingers.
– Yes? – Igor was genuinely surprised, – why didn’t you fill it in this year?
– This is not the case.
– What are you all about?

Sticking his tongue out, and writing “one thousand nine hundred ninety-sixth year”. I was in a hurry: And when he flew his head, he asked for a question.

– Starug, in the sixth you, as always?
– Yes sir!
– A staruper, how much is possible, well, do something with him already !!! It doesn’t climb, glue up your mouth with scotch tape !!
– Tried dragging the rear admiral. Nothing helps!
– And what is he motivating?
– Stress from his checks, drag counter Admiral!
– B … s, well, how so, first mate? He already serves more than me in the Navy !!! Well what his stress ?!
“I can’t know, dragging the rear admiral.” I’m a training consultant, not a psychologist.
– Psychologist. Come on, I’ll see you right now.

It’s with the counter-admiral’s hands.

– Comrade lieutenant captain !!! – Why did you go on board? How dare you drink !!!
“I didn’t get drunk,” I’m just got tired, because I’m not ready to get drunk
– Bitch !!! – yelled the rear admiral, – Yes, I love you !!! Yes, I tell you !!! Yes I am about you !!!!

But this, usually, fantasy and ends. Well, where can I get a population of ten thousand people? How can he be threatened if he is paid three times a year anyway? He was constantly inventing something all the time. At one time, we introduced control sheets in the fleet. It was judged as follows: well, who serves on ships now? Well, it is clear that some morons. Normal people trade in prostitutes in st. St. Petersburg or carry drugs from Kazakhstan, at worst, freedom is, mother, market relations !!! It wasn’t the thought of it.

He was so judged that he had been judged by the naval creativity. It has been noted that it has been recorded in a tabular form (“Wind-2”, for example, ). I’ve put it on, you’ll put it on, you’ll put it on. , in an ascending line. Quickly stuck, began to multiply and multiply.

And, as a result of the crew, they also had to check. But in the end, it was supposed to have fifteen pieces. He is a senior officer of the inspection team who has been picked up by the police.

– First, count.

The first one was counting out loud, staring.

– Second, count.

And so on ..

– Sixth, consider.
– One, two, three … sixteen.
– How sixteen? Fifteen is likely to be?
– And I, Sayan Sanych, For … lsya hu … for her: checklist for the presence of checklists!
“Igor,” he said, “you can, of course, you can’t … I personally you bitch, I will choke !!! If I carry it on
– I understood everything, this Sanych, I will not do it again
– And not a word to anyone !!! Not a word, hear me, Banderlog?
– If you’re in the middle of a compartment, you’re body !!!

And it has become a common cause of international conflict. But that’s another story …

Source –

&# 171; Fifteen year captain&# 187; Humorous story from the series “Sharks of steel”

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