Patient diary. Part 1

Mandatory editor’s note. The event that has been formed in the middle of the two thousandths. Hence the specific slang, and some inconsistencies (I sincerely hope), with the current state of the public medical institutions. But in general, it is very common. And yes, 18+. If your reading is a perception of the genre shudders, then it is better to read it.

Chapter 1. Accordingly, the first

So let us begin this revelation from the very beginning. I got the elbow to the right side. I fell, and in my head flashed: “That’s 3.14zda …” Well, maybe something else, I just do not remember. But I like it, I played up the match. Even scored one goal, as it turned out, victorious. The opposing team was counted as a sinker. But the positive feeling of being the first. For my right side was about ** sick. However, it’s not. And now it’s Sunday. I was returning in the house. In the elevator, I already sat on the floor. Another thought passed through: “X ** se!”. But I really thought I was being horned. Sorry, pissed. Better not. Then my digestive system began to contract. In short, vomit. And it was painful.

After 15 minutes, I was already lying on the floor and I was like a hippo giving birth. I like it (like, “zero-three”, you can still read as “oz” – for podonkaff). They responded and rushed after 30 minutes. Although the ambulance station is far away, on foot I reach it in as much as 5 minutes. But it didn’t bother me then. The young doctor punctured my stomach and made the diagnosis: “Gastritis!”. Then she wrote on the paper. In fact, ends, and they drove on. I want to give you a hedgehog. I almost cried in pain. After another 30 minutes, they gave me a little bit better. Minutes into two. And then again, I’ve been stunned by life troubles, a cat. The second ambulance arrived even faster – after 40 minutes. They said: “Appendicitis!” And called with them. I agreed, clear ** nd.

The branch of the morgue. I am generally saddened. They told me to wait. He then asked for his first name. I would like to give you an idea of ​​the best situation for the evening: “An ulcer and a niipet!”. I asked him: “Will they be cut?”, To which the creative doctor replied: “They will slaughter pigs!” And left. I was left alone again. Then someone said: “Zhenya, process it!”, And I sensed that the final r ** dec. He didn’t come to the concentration camps. She shaved my stomach and the water of the ’80s without, at least, soap and water. I’m mentally sent to you and I’m losing out. But, fortunately, it was a haircut, and Aunt Zhenya went to sleep.

Then they sent me on an x-ray. “You are young, you will reach it yourself. Why do you need a wheelchair? “I’ve made it for me.” When I was photographed for memory – I fainted from the pain. But they’re lifted up to the sanitary inspection room. Forced to piss, ostensibly on tests. I thought they didn’t want to shit. They sent me to the fourth floor, where I also had to go up myself. But neither ** I got up.

It was not a problem. But this was not my plan. I asked to call the doctor. I’m not sure if this is normal.

A doctor came, looked and said: “We will be the fourth to quarter.” Led to the operating room. I myself climbed onto the table. I’m getting some crap to my legs and hands. I heard the word “catheter”, but I couldn’t know what it is? And this, brothers, is it inserted into the bladder right through yuh. Like this. I screamed a good mat. But they didn’t know how to work. Well, at least I think so. And then there was another injection, and then I fell into the void …

Chapter 2. How they made me fallout

I woke up after xs how much time. But it was already light. By slightly straining the cerebral cortex, I realized that it was Monday. I remembered that I sort of should not be cut. But I didn’t feel anything. Then I found out that I was in intensive care. But then it meant nothing to me …

After a while I wanted to move something. And I realized that I couldn’t, because my hands were tied to the bed.

“E ** nyvrot,” I thought. I realized that I didn’t understand it. “I’ll untie your hands now,” he said. Here I truly about ** ate. Like never in my life. There were two rubber tubes flowing through it. “Oh, no, aliens, but not my organs!” – I was just in a panic. Although after a while, panic was replaced by another feeling. A nurse came to my left hand. It was not a long time that it was used. But after the injection, I wanted to go somewhere in Paris … Well, or sleep. Chose, nah, the second.

When I woke up, I was very thirsty. But it hasn’t been allowed. She handed me a bottle of water I didn’t fuck up right there. I didn’t want to drink any more. I was fed through an IV drip, so there wasn’t much of a break on the havchik either. Then I vmazatsya again and slept again …

It was a dream – a dream – a dream — a dream — a dream — a dream — a dream — a dream — a race — All pricked. Apparently, it’s not a problem.

The day passed, and the night came, respectively. I woke up when it was already dark. The sounds of Bilan with their “no f ** k me again” … But I just signaled that I wanted to hunt another couple of cubes of that garbage. I realized that there is a lot of drape and for free!

Tuesday was the same. I have to go on my own. He poured me a glass of juice. I did not drink it at once. I’m getting more help from the stomach. Yes, blah, business.

I was still stuck, I was still stuck in the hospital. It was a bit unpleasant. Liver rupture. They said that they were dragged me from the next world. For which I’ve been pulling out of me. But everything has its time …

Chapter 3. Hellish executions

I woke up around my web. Blah, I didn’t really want to groaning, thereby scoring the neighbors. It is still a lot of trouble.

I saw an internal struggle. He thought about it, either you need it or not. Apparently, I was so miserable outwardly that he chose the latter. For which I brought it to my friends.

A nurse came and stuck me a syringe. I slept for an hour, but then I woke up. I’m not talking to her sleep. To which I mentally sent her to ** nd, and verbally asked for another dose. She replied that I have to suffer a little. Four o’clock … I thought it was expanding at night. It was promised that I’m not ready to receive these suspicious types. But it didn’t get any easier for me. Then the kid, out of the soul of his soul, is offered a little dimple. “Yeah, and a beer!” I thought. But he agreed, naturally. My nurse added a new one to my left loaf. I got it away from me, on ** r, and the rest hurt as before. Blah … … How I used to swear …. And these bitches no longer even approached me. I received the correct message. I didn’t know what it was for me … And, besides, it seems, I dunley after all my dope …

In the morning came the dock that cut me. Asked how I feel. I lied: “OK.” In fact – not a childish shit. It has been a great deal to make it easier for your baby to get it. Then he told the nurse a rather long list of procedures for me. I’m not sure what to say. And I heard the strange word “probe.” “Blah …” – another simple thought came to me. A few minutes later I said it out loud. The nurse has returned to her hands. She came up with me. Uzhosnakh! In addition, I had to stick this byaku through my nose !!! I have been sent with the manager. branch. He persuaded me dirty But, damn, this x ** nya didn’t want to thrust at me !!! It is already a crying effect. “Here they are, real scum,” I thought. I’ve had a pipe nostril: “And we have a thinner probe!” Blah …

Sister brought the same crap, only REALLY LESS. From one time she drove into my mouth. I was told P ** dec … …

I blew out a couple of times, finally, in my stomach. It has been noted that the nurse has been sticking out of my nose. People! It turns out that the phrase “suck all the juice” has a literal meaning !!! The back of the piston I thought that I wanted that way out. It was disconnected from the phone. It wasn’t accidentally made it out. I sighed with relief, but early, nah.

Then the bandage team pulled in to me. Sister sister and turtle tortilla. Damn, really like! The doctor came. I removed all the dressings from the ate. The spectacle! .. I’ve again pulled out. It was taken for a while. In one motion! Twenty centimeters in it was the length. Oh ** hoo, give two! The picture in the memorial … “Prevoryakh”, – I thought, and waited while that Copperfield pulled it out. But he did not. Say, then, they say. Not all tricks at once. And retired.

Chapter 3. How I got revenge from a nurse

I’ve been in the gaz. They decided to take revenge on me. “I’m looking for revenge, it’s terrible,” All was in the holes. “Fife?” I asked mentally. “Neither * I” – I read it. I was asked if my gases were flowing away. I didn’t realize with a fright what she meant. They asked on the earthly: “Perdish?”. I said I do not remember. Then they told me to turn on my side …

I will not describe it in detail, but I swore even more. This was a bit of an exhaust pipe. I was just disgraced !!! Although the boys didn’t say anything and still sympathized. I’m still alive after all this has increased.

To be continued.

It was spent on the day of the day after the . When you do not hesitate.

Patient diary. Part 1

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