General advice for cases of hooligan teenage squabbles, extortion and other mercenary crimes teach a child to sacrifice a small one in order to preserve the main thing. Small is money, clothes, values, pride. The main health and life, including his friends.
Teenage showdowns, youth groups, general advice for cases of hooligan teenage showdowns, extortion and other mercenary crimes.
I do not consider moral education categories here. Give way or not; what is more important from the point of view of the future free personality to obey or, at the risk of health, insist on his own; turn the left cheek when they hit the right cheek, or reach the offender’s cheek, etc. these are more moral-philosophical categories that are not related to the topic we are talking about.
articles. There are no special recommendations for children in this regard. Therefore, use adult advice. Better not to use it at all. Children in physical confrontation are much more vulnerable than adults. Moreover. If you are robbed in the presence of your child, try not to resist. The picture of a father’s beating for a child’s psyche can have much more serious consequences (even in case of victory) than the same dad’s loss of his wallet or part of his clothes.
In addition, in such a fight, an adult can easily lose: it is enough to take his child hostage to neutralize all resistance. Universal advice for heroes and cowards. When clarifying the relationship “on the fists”, it is desirable to have friends near the scene of events. Do not, posing as a superman, go to battle with superior enemy forces alone. In the end, even in a duel, it was customary to appear accompanied by seconds. And nobody saw anything wrong with that.
Try to inspire such, not the most seditious thoughts to your heir. The implementation of the dueling code at least guarantees him additional protection, advice, moral support and any medical assistance, and you will have relative peace. The situation is different with the participation of adolescents in various semi-criminal and territorial youth groups. It is dangerous to play parenting here. While you are considering the admissibility of applying measures that are traumatic from the point of view of developing consciousness, a child may be made a juvenile delinquent, and then his immature consciousness will encounter not the most humane investigative punitive state machine.
It’s better to hurry by yourself. Parental hand she will be easier. Any sharp change in the behavior of a teenager should alert parents, especially if the area where they live is disadvantageous in terms of youth movements. The preference of one clothing for another, some special stripes, wardrobe details, a depressed or, conversely, overly excited mood, loss of money from parents’ wallets and household items or, conversely, life beyond their means, systematic bruises under the eyes, torn clothes are all an occasion for thought. Perhaps it is on these days that your child is drawn into the ranks of “organizations”.
It is extremely difficult for a teenager to resist a well-developed system of psychological enslavement (through intimidation, false romanticism and false heroism, through joint participation in unlawful acts, etc.), and in hard-working groups supervised by adult criminal “authorities” is almost impossible. About such nuts and adults can literally break off teeth. There are many examples where such teenage naughty boys, uniting in fact into gangs, terrorized entire urban areas. And parents, so that their children were not “taken away”, were forced to pay lenders to the leaders. And they paid, because they did not see other ways to protect their children from forced mobilization in the ranks of “fighters”.
Or money on the table, or systematic bloody beatings of the “deserter”. In such an extreme situation, parents can already help their children only by relying on the power of state law enforcement agencies. In milder cases, it all depends on the vigilance of older family members. The sooner the parents catch on, the easier it is for them to pull the still “pure” teenager out of the “movement” that has laid eyes on him. Hence, information control is of particular importance. Up to snooping. Yes Yes! If you can’t get to the truth, talking heart to heart with your child (just a belt, please take your pants back, she doesn’t accept rudeness) or talking with his friends, then, becoming like Sherlock Holmes, find out the truth using deductive-detective methods or contact the police.
Some friends of mine, when pressed, did not spare money for hiring a private detective agent and with it helped clarify a hopeless, seemingly confusing situation. Their child, being blackmailed by some not the worst crime, was forced to carry things from home and sell them. The case turned out to be neglected, but still “operable”. But what would happen if our parents didn’t “go down” to espionage methods and launched a “disease”, it’s hard to say. I have no moral right to advise and recommend the use of such special methods, but I can insist on clarifying the truth by any methods available and acceptable for this family.
At least in difficult cases, gather a large family council with the help of relatives and friends who have a pedagogical and legal education. Together, the solution is easier to find. If you do not consult anyone, call the police, even if anonymously, and be sure to try to find other victims of the same misfortune in your yard or community. It is easier to act against a group by joint efforts. Well, if you do not want to seek help from law enforcement agencies or collect a group of offended parents, you just have to knock the wedge out with a wedge. That is, to offend your offspring power to seek great strength. How? Ridiculously easy.
In the family of my good friend, money began to disappear. Little. But systematically. Suspecting the wrong head of the family, to check his fears, he put a thick bundle of notes in an empty wallet that he had previously calculated. The next day, several notes disappeared from the bundle. Suspicion fell on the eldest son. In the evening a harsh interrogation was instituted, with a demonstration of the belt and the determination to use it for its intended purpose. As a result of the interrogation, it turned out that the money was not intended for chewing gum and sweets, but for buying out from classmates who taxed their weak associates. At first, the father, anxious to save his son, wanted to contact the police. But I realized that the police will not engage in school squabbles.
And if he suddenly gets into teenage conflicts, then his son cannot live in that school. Then he thought it would be nice to give the malacholny offspring to the boxing section. But this is when he still learns to protect himself. Maybe I’ll find those juvenile racketeers myself and … No, this is a matter of jurisdiction. So what then to do? If neither he nor the police … My friend found a way out of this seemingly hopeless situation. He did not go to the police. He went to school. To the one where his son studied. And he asked the first boy he met in the hallway, who is the most important bully in their school. If possible notorious.
The most important Petka from 9 “B”, the boy answered. He is such that it’s better not to mess with him.
Hooligan Petka justice seeker dad found in the toilet.
Do you want to earn? he asked from the threshold, holding out a cigarette for dating.
I want, answered a juvenile bully.
Then fifty rubles, indicated the amount of remuneration dad.
What to do?
That you know how to beat, said the father. One week.
And called three surnames.
Beat hard? the employee specified, recounting the advance given to him.
Not. But if possible twice a day.
In general, “tooth by tooth blood for blood”. Three days later, the parents of the offenders of his son broke into the family of my friend.
What do you allow yourself? Hooligans beat our children! Twice a day! they were indignant. We will go to the police!
And your sons beat my son. And the owner of the house answered him to steal money. So you can go now. To finally figure out this story.
Parents who came to repair disassembly.
Well, they didn’t touch your child with a finger, they said. Just tell it … That them … Tell him to stop. Our children cry and are afraid to go to school.
Surely, my friend sympathized. But, unfortunately, only after three days. The fact is that I ordered a week. So let them tolerate. Little. Three days. My son suffered longer…
Thus, this “insoluble” teenage conflict was exhausted. Without police and personal adult participation. I am not a supporter of such force methods. But if you can’t go to the police and do not want to deal personally, and they beat the child, then why not. And yet the company that systematically hits your child is not the worst company. There are much worse companies in which, if you do not recognize them in time, you can lose a child. To lose completely. Finally. Hence, one very important, in my opinion, advice and recommendation. In all cases of a change in a child’s behavior, parents should suspect the worst that their son or daughter has gone to a company where they indulge in drugs. Be sure to suspect. Because drug companies, unlike just companies, take a child quickly and forever.
There are drugs, addiction to which develops after several “trial” receptions. So in this particular case it is better to show “inappropriate” suspicion than excessive complacency. We have such time that we have to talk about the onset of drug addiction on adolescents on the entire front. For those who believe that I am exaggerating, I will refer to statistics that claim that every third among modern high school students have tried drugs! And who can guarantee that your child is first or second. What if he’s the third one! And if so, then you should be constantly tuned to look for evidence of your child’s possible addiction.
Why examine and sniff it at every return to the house. Observe any inappropriate reactions. And even, I’m sorry for such unscrupulous advice, check his things and pockets for pills, syringes, sachets with an incomprehensible kind of powders, money that you did not give him. Yes, check! Because it is about the life of your child! And here any methods of surveillance and inquiry are permissible. If you suspect that your child is using drugs, immediately contact a specialist in drug treatment, in the society for combating drug addiction. There you will be given the most complete instructions.
And one more little advice, which is somewhat contrary to conventional wisdom. Do not think that prestigious paid lyceums and private schools will protect your child from drugs. Well, because there are cultural kids from decent families studying there. It may well be that not. It may well be just the opposite. Drugs love money. Each dose costs a lot of money, so most often sellers of “potions” go to schools where children of wealthy parents study. And to discos where kids dance, in which there is more money in their pockets than just for a school breakfast. Before giving your children to expensive gymnasiums, do not be too lazy to go to the toilet on the high school floor and look at the bins, if there are syringes, and smell the air, if it smells like a smoke with filler.
Better yet, talk with the students, the district police officer, and the anti-drug department staff who know better than anyone else where the potion is being sold. Do not be lazy, conduct an investigation. Pay for the information you are interested in. At least the same school students. After all, the matter is about your children. And drugs are by far their most dangerous enemy. So sniff, check your pockets, make inquiries. Well do at least something!
I will not consider cases of abduction of children for the purpose of ransom (nowadays the word kidnapping). Parents of such children usually have their own security service and bodyguards, or they have money to buy the necessary help for. Although I’ll make a reservation, experience, including foreign ones, shows that the games on the independent release of hostage children very often end tragically. It’s still more reliable here to seek help from the police and security agencies, or at least coordinate your intended actions with them..
Based on materials from the School of Survival during the Economic Crisis.